Ecclesiastes 3:1 (KJV) states “to everything there is a season and a time for every purpose under heaven.” Many Christians use this, and the accompanying Bible verses, to try to make sense of life’s most difficult challenges, including grief and loss. When you are dealing with the death of a loved one, it is hard to imagine that the pain serves a purpose. As unbearable as it can be to lose a parent, a sibling, or a spouse, most people can relate to your pain and will make an effort to console you. Loss of a pregnancy is not often as well understood, or easily consoled, so many suffer in silence.
In recent years, more women and families have started breaking the silence of the pain associated with pregnancy complications, loss and infertility, including Gabrielle Union and Erica Campbell. After our son Joshua was born prematurely by stillbirth, we were devastated. Many knew we were pregnant, but few could relate to our loss. As I began to selectively share my story of loss with other women, in an effort to heal, I learned that at least half a dozen others had experienced a similar loss. If in my small circle, there were more than a few women who had shared the same experience, how many others were there? How many are there? Probably more than any study could calculate.
In 2006, I began documenting my story, Pregnant with Promise. It is a compilation of journal entries written over the course of about four years. It represents the highs and lows of my journey. The highs were times of great joy, the lows, still painful to remember. But just as there was a season of loss, there was also a season of great gain. We are blessed to have a 9 year old son, and an 11 year old son. So, to everything, there is indeed a season and time for every purpose.
This is a season to speak out and a time to heal.